The season of giving is officially underway. I often get questions from people who are putting together gift baskets for friends and family undergoing chemotherapy, so I thought it would be helpful to put together a list of items that are most useful, particularly if your friend or loved one is taking a type of chemo with harsh side effects (as I did five years ago.) Side effects can include hair loss, neuropathy, and altered taste, so a thoughtfully curated care package can be a true comfort.
1. Books or magazines
If your friend or loved one likes to read, I recommend individualizing reading material based on their interests. Chemo infusions can take hours,and there may be several recovery days afterward, so reading material is a great addition to a care package. In my own packages, I've added Anne Lamott's books. (Help, Thanks, Wow : The Three Essential Prayers is a favorite of mine). (It's not pictured here because I gave my copy away and need another one.) Lamott's nonfiction work in particular addresses life's struggles, but in an inspiring (and often humorous) way. And I've also given Rick Bragg's books (All Over But the Shoutin',Ava's Man, My Southern Journey.) Bragg, a Pulitzer winner, is a southerner writing about family. His work is nothing short of beautiful. My Southern Journey is a collection of his essays from the back page of Southern Living; they're often light-hearted and humorous. As for novels, there are too many to recommend, so again, I'd match that to the reader's taste. Magazines and crossword puzzles are great, as well.
2. Scarves, hats, toboggans
Most times, chemo causes hair loss, so these are good additions to your package, particularly in the cooler months. Scarves should be big enough to cover the entire head and tie at the nape of the neck. I found my favorite sizes and patterns at Target.
Sleep caps are also helpful (which is something I didn't even know I needed-my mom got a couple of these for me) . If you like to knit or crochet (or you know someone who does) a couple of handmade toboggans (a.k.a. beanie cap) are useful, or a baseball cap (add a monogram for a personalized touch.)
3. Non-scented lotions or soaps: Chemo makes you sensitive to smells, so I recommend only including scent-free products. We had to remove air fresheners from the cars and switch to scent free detergents because those were just too strong for me. Lotions and soaps are good because they're comforting, but make sure they don't have added dyes or detergents. If you do include something with a scent, make it an organic peppermint or eucalyptus (which can help with nausea.)
4. Sour candy: I know this seems like an odd thing to add to the list, but chemo alters taste. Most foods taste like metal, if you can taste them at all. Sometimes, the only food that breaks through are sour candies, like Sweet Tarts (my favorite) or lemon drop sours. One of the people to whom I sent a care package told me it was her favorite part!
5. Comfortable, fluffy socks with grips: Chemo also causes temporary neuropathy, which is loss of sensation in fingers and toes (and sometimes tingling sensations.) Fluffy socks (and soft gloves) are a good addition to your package for this reason, as well as the time spent in the infusion chair and in recovery. Make sure the socks have rubber grips on the soles, because if your patient has severe neuropathy, s/he may be unsteady while walking, so you want to reduce the chance of slipping and falling. I like these spa socks infused with lavender, which is a scent that supposed to add to relaxation (but make sure your patient is okay with the scent.)
6. Inspiration: If you want to add a little daily inspiration, consider a calendar with daily quotes, a magnet, or a sign that will reinforce positive messages. Magnets cost very little and signs can be handmade (as easily as a printable in a Dollar Tree frame .)
7. Gift cards: Don't forget the caregiver/spouse. If you want to spend a little more, add a gift card for meals (takeout) at a local restaurant. We were given several gift cards, which were helpful when we were traveling long distances for appointments or if my husband needed a helping hand with dinner for the kids one night. Gift cards to a spa (to celebrate the end of chemo) or a makeover (look for people who specialize in makeup for cancer patients) would also be welcomed. That last one would be especially helpful during the holidays, if your loved one isn't sensitive to makeup.
8. A card with cash: Don't underestimate how much they'll appreciate a handwritten, supportive note with some cash inside. Treatment adds up: gas, food, hotel rooms, medications, and other necessary items mean that a little spending money can make a difference. (If you're not sure what to write, click here for some tips.)
9. Ginger: Every week prior to chemo, I got my supply of ginger-infused foods and drinks ready. Ginger settles the stomach, so ginger ale, foods cooked with ginger, ginger suckers and drops are all good ideas for someone dealing with nausea.
10. A homemade "gift certificate" for babysitting, laundry, meals, transportation: Finally, you can always offer yourself and your time in the best way that supports this family. Meals and rides to treatment made such a difference for us. But one of the most generous ways that our family supported us was by caring for our kids on weekends after infusions (even taking them to Dollywood for the weekend). I often felt guilty because I couldn't be fully present for them after treatment, and though my husband is the best dad on the planet, working full-time and helping me out left little time for other things. Just coordinate with the patient's spouse or caregiver to find out how you can best serve them with your time.
So, those are my suggestions. I'm blessed and thankful to be well again, and this is one of the ways that I try to offer the benefit of my experience, and remember to pay forward what others did for me with my own baskets and boxes. There is always someone who can use a little bit of comfort.
Comments